Why?

Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh
was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment
me so I would not exalt myself. (2 Cor. 12:7)

Why do we sin? Paul struggled with his sin, and I certainly have areas of sin in my life that I do a poor job of combating. But what is the appeal of sin? Is one moment of rage, or excitement, or material possession really so important? The feeling of comfort, of being love, of power, when I spend time with God is amazing. Starting my day with God, really worshipping Him, really praying to Him, makes the entire day go. It's night and day what happens between the days I spend with God and those that I don't. It's an amazing feeling going to bed at the end of a day knowing you have been productive, you've served God, and you've heard His voice. And yet, I sin. I mess up that relationship, that communion. For a cheap thrill. For a minute to blow of some steam. For an intimacy that measures up so poorly with that you get from God it's hardly worth mentioning. Why? It doesn't make sense.

Even crazier, God keeps pulling us back to Him. He desires that communion even more than we do. He never leaves us, even when we do the inexplicable--we sin. He blatantly run away from that communion. There's no point in being coy--we know what's at stake. And we run. From the ever-present, sovereign Lord. And what does He do? He pulls us back to Him. He keeps working on us, helping us become less and less succeptible to our own stupidness, so the communion that He--and we (usually)--want actually comes to pass. And blossoms. And is even greater than we ever imagined.

I've kind of run out of steam and don't know where I'm going with this. Why do I sin? Why do I do things that are explicitly against what I want, and make it harder for me to get this awesome communion with the Creator of the universe. I don't know. I can't answer that. But it is comforting to know that God wants that communion more than me, and He doesn't take "no" for an answer.