I am not as strong as I think I am
I am not as strong as I think I am. How do I know this? I just spent a weekend with a couple of my closest friends. I felt completely comfortable, completely natural, completely at home. It was just like the Church is supposed to act together. We had fun, and there was very little temptation or even thought about sin. Then I come back to Bloomington. I go to work in an office full of talk of sex, drinking, and making fun of each other. So what do I do? I crawl into myself, and very quickly enter into my officemates train of thought. I am crude, stupid, and mean. They probably don't even notice, but I do. It's night and day from what I consider the real me I saw this weekend. So how did I fall into this fake me so quickly upon returning back to Bloomington? I do it myself. I rely on my own strength. I'm a super-Christian--I'm going to walk into that office and change everyone into super-Christians with me.
"...live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Gal. 5:16
"because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Rom. 8:2
I don't think I've done a very good job of not gratifying the desires of my sinful nature, so the mathematician in me says I'm not going a good job of living by the Spirit. And clearly, said Spirit has set me free from that very sinful nature.
The past day or two, God has put on my heart a phrase that was (one of many things) prayed over me when I was leaving Covenant (my church at Taylor) around graduation time. The phrase is "God will equip you to obey." It's not a lack of right and wrong on my part. It's not a lack of ability--God has "furnished me with the qualities necessary for performance" (dictionary definition of equip). So what am I doing? I'm not taking advantage of God. I'm using my abilities, and doing things on my strength, instead of relying on Him. Starting my day off with Him. Listening to Him instead of my officemates. Letting Him permeate my being. Forget about being a super-Christian and worry about what God wants for me right now.
In some sense, I'm sure I'm being too hard on myself, and needlessly so. To an outside observor, they might not notice any difference. But in another sense, I'm probably not being hard enough. I'm not dealing with an outside observor, but the Sovereign Creator of all. The worst thing that can happen is to get to heaven and hear Him say, "I knew you not." While I'm not completely worried about that, I also don't want Him to say, "I gave you ten talents, and you used two of them but buried the other eight." Or even all ten.
Just another step in the process of "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matt. 5:48
"...live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Gal. 5:16
"because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Rom. 8:2
I don't think I've done a very good job of not gratifying the desires of my sinful nature, so the mathematician in me says I'm not going a good job of living by the Spirit. And clearly, said Spirit has set me free from that very sinful nature.
The past day or two, God has put on my heart a phrase that was (one of many things) prayed over me when I was leaving Covenant (my church at Taylor) around graduation time. The phrase is "God will equip you to obey." It's not a lack of right and wrong on my part. It's not a lack of ability--God has "furnished me with the qualities necessary for performance" (dictionary definition of equip). So what am I doing? I'm not taking advantage of God. I'm using my abilities, and doing things on my strength, instead of relying on Him. Starting my day off with Him. Listening to Him instead of my officemates. Letting Him permeate my being. Forget about being a super-Christian and worry about what God wants for me right now.
In some sense, I'm sure I'm being too hard on myself, and needlessly so. To an outside observor, they might not notice any difference. But in another sense, I'm probably not being hard enough. I'm not dealing with an outside observor, but the Sovereign Creator of all. The worst thing that can happen is to get to heaven and hear Him say, "I knew you not." While I'm not completely worried about that, I also don't want Him to say, "I gave you ten talents, and you used two of them but buried the other eight." Or even all ten.
Just another step in the process of "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matt. 5:48
posted by spocktongue at 9:55 PM
1 Comments:
You make a good point, and it's something God has reminded me of in the past. Part of the whole "freedom from sin" thing is not having to think about it and worry about it. I'm not saying you should forget or ignore your sin, but even when you are struggling with it, it shouldn't be your main or consuming thought. Rather, the more you focus on God, the more the rest will fall into place. Like I said, it's something He's reminded me of before, and it's amazing the freedom you feel when you trust in Him and don't worry about the bad, but focus on the good, on Him. Didn't I already write a blog about "negativeness"? :)
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