Have you met my kid?

I haven't, but apparently I owe $7000 (per year) in child support for him/her (I don't actually know the sex, or even the name, of my kid). Yesterday I got a letter from the Traverse City (Michigan) Circuit Court explaining that I owe said amount to Christine Alspaugh. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, this does not effect any other rulings about our divorce.

So, on Monday I get to call the court (which has a different phone number than what was listed on the sheet--the area card was wrong) and try to explain things. Do you think it will help if I tell them I've never been married? How about if I tell them I'm a virgin?

Actually, I called it today, and was able to work my way through the system, and apparently they have no record of my social security number. So, the problem must be they sent the stuff to the wrong Shawn Alspaugh. But seriously, how many of us are there? Google only lists me...