Spiritual patience

Am I too emotional? I know some friends from Taylor would probably laugh out loud at that, but am I too emotional when it comes to my relationship with God? At Connexion tonight we talked about trust in God, or faith in God, or some other synonym that means almost the same thing (from the department of redundancy department) . About trusting God, and knowing He is there, even when your prayers aren't answered how you want them to be. I was reminded of the guy in the OT (David? Daniel? somebody whose name doesn't start with D?) who prayed for over a year for something before the angel (Michael?) was able to "get free" and respond/answer him. Would I do that? It seems all too often that if I don't seem to be hearing God on a certain day(s), or don't get the warm fuzzy "God likes me" feeling, or the "I'm so overwhelmed with His Spirit I can't stop shaking" feeling, that I start to wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Why isn't God spouting out essays to me every time we get together? I get frustrated with myself, and tend to pull away from Him. Do I have the patience to wait for His answer? Do I have the faith/trust/confidence to put all my eggs in His basket when I don't feel/see/hear Him directly? I've complained before about knowing in my head that God is with me, and that God is taking care of me, and that God is .... , but don't always "feel" it in my insides, in my inner depths. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it, at times. Maybe knowing in my head is a sufficient starting point, so to speak, and I should go from there, trusting in that knowledge.
In church on Sunday, Bob talked about the church in Sardis (Rev. 3), and checking how you really are, and not how you appear. It's gone well with my TIER III's coming up. Oral exams are not something you can fake your way through. Even written exams, sometimes you can, since they can be somewaht anonymous and impersonal...but my orals, that for sure won't be the case. You're up there, by yourself, and either you know the information or you don't. In the same way, you can't fake your way through God. Sure, you might be able to fool some people. But if I ever want to find a wife, or when I finally meet my judgement, it's going to be raw, , exposed me. That will be who I am. So, as I'm assessing myself and finding out who I actually think I am, where do I factor in my thoughts and feelings?
When push comes to shove, I think a lot comes down to how I act. Even when I don't "feel" like it, do I still pray? When it "feels" like no one is with me, or talking back? I want to get to the point where I can't shut God up, but is part of that process just listening, and not always hearing? Obedience is the first step, even if your heart isn't always into it. I don't know...in the words of the bum, I'm...trailing...off...