Any clearer?
So, day after my diatribe and little conversation with God, and I have everything solved and figured out.
HA!
Ok, seriously now, I probably am more confused than yesterday. I allowed myself some "me" time today, some "sin" time, and I think it killed a little bit of my momentum from last night and this morning. Some points of clarity, though, that I have reached at this point:
The first point comes from the last sentence of a little packet I read through today: The difference between hearing God's voice and not hearing it is the difference between having a relationshiop with God and just having a religion. I want to hear God's voice. No, I need to hear God's voice. Not that I'm ignoring Him or anything, I'm just not very actual pursuing it. There's that word again--pursue. Not very passive.
Speaking of not passive, prayer group at Sullivan was pretty small today (it'll get to the not passive part soon, I promise). So, I basically brough my guitar and did some singing, and then led the praying. Now, I've been ceding to the more assertive HSers in the group for the most part, keeping it as their group in a lot of ways, but today I couldn't. In particular, most of you probably know how I feel about singing in front of people, especially with no strong vocal to support me (aka Stephanie in Btown). Well, I had to lead, and it went really well. I was on key (gasp) and pretty strong, even on Holy Spirit Rain Down, which was requested since it's currently my favorite song. It was such a blessing, because to sing that song you need a really strong voice to pull it off (preferably female, but I can't really pull that off), and I really felt the Spirit moving while I was singing it. I wonder if the kids noticed?
All that to say, I need to be willing to risk for God. To step out in faith. I have so little of it....I believe, God, help my unbelief. I am so concerned about things like what others think, what my future holds, if I'm prepared enough, how things may affect my life. Things that, ultimately, do not matter. I can be safe, or I can be a man, be a disciple, be a son of God.
HA!
Ok, seriously now, I probably am more confused than yesterday. I allowed myself some "me" time today, some "sin" time, and I think it killed a little bit of my momentum from last night and this morning. Some points of clarity, though, that I have reached at this point:
The first point comes from the last sentence of a little packet I read through today: The difference between hearing God's voice and not hearing it is the difference between having a relationshiop with God and just having a religion. I want to hear God's voice. No, I need to hear God's voice. Not that I'm ignoring Him or anything, I'm just not very actual pursuing it. There's that word again--pursue. Not very passive.
Speaking of not passive, prayer group at Sullivan was pretty small today (it'll get to the not passive part soon, I promise). So, I basically brough my guitar and did some singing, and then led the praying. Now, I've been ceding to the more assertive HSers in the group for the most part, keeping it as their group in a lot of ways, but today I couldn't. In particular, most of you probably know how I feel about singing in front of people, especially with no strong vocal to support me (aka Stephanie in Btown). Well, I had to lead, and it went really well. I was on key (gasp) and pretty strong, even on Holy Spirit Rain Down, which was requested since it's currently my favorite song. It was such a blessing, because to sing that song you need a really strong voice to pull it off (preferably female, but I can't really pull that off), and I really felt the Spirit moving while I was singing it. I wonder if the kids noticed?
All that to say, I need to be willing to risk for God. To step out in faith. I have so little of it....I believe, God, help my unbelief. I am so concerned about things like what others think, what my future holds, if I'm prepared enough, how things may affect my life. Things that, ultimately, do not matter. I can be safe, or I can be a man, be a disciple, be a son of God.
posted by spocktongue at 11:31 PM
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